5 months later...

11 Feb 09,the day u return bek my freedom to me. U said:''u deserve to get more better than tis...i cant fulfill u...u have freedom...find a better man."i din understand at all...i tot we would be together forever...i was wrong.i tried to talk to u...and try to ask u whether u seriously love me?seriously in tis relationship? U juz drop a word 'sorry'...ur promises was gone...i cried...i til want u back...u were nvr satisfied...no matter hw hard i try, its over...is u return back my freedom to me...

Last night (1 June 09) Monday, U ask do i til hate u through msn? u know u hurt me deep. Evytime u said sorry to me for wat u hv done to me...y????ya...i til HATE U!!!coz i do love u til nw...but i never told u the real answer.i simply said tat i dunno. For U, its over...for me, its nt over...i foolishly held on tightly on our love...evyday i tried to smile even though i m aching inside...i tried to smile even though my heart is breaking. U were the one who set it all up...nw u r the one who made it stop. Its hard for me to accept.I know its all over btw us...the only person i truly care for...left me with a broken heart...LOVE...it fell apart and it broke my heart...i love u once and i love u still...silly gal...Should i smile bcoz we are frenz or should i cry bcoz tat is all tat we ever be...Everythg i learned about breaking...i learned it frm u...

Its really funny how someone can break ur heart and u til love them with all the little pieces.

I miss U...

The one thing i learned...it's not always rainbow and butterflies. U promised me u wouldn't hurt me.but...u lied. U hurt me...and no matter how happy i seem...i hurt deeper then u'll ever know...i asked wat was wrong...and u juz drop by to say tat me deserve to get more better than this...many things u cant fulfill me...u give me a freedom...want me to find another better guy...i was the only one who get hurt but u never ever know...is u let it go such easily...Now i feel like i'm the only one til HURTING...
I admitted tat i fall in love too easilly...and i know this was all my FAULT...i always thought u were...It's funny how someone can break ur heart and u still love them with all the little pieces...i get the truth from u even it is really hurt...the truth is u never take me to ur heart...and nt really love me...I hv so many questions want to ask u...but dunno hw to ask...it was hurt when i think of u every middle of the night...
Did it mean anything to u, the 1st time i said ...''I LOVE U"??? Do i mean anything to u at all? U til mean so much to me but i m ur MISTAKE!!!
Words can never replace tis kind of feelings!!! I wil try to move on and hv no regrets... I want to tel U one thing...I miss u...

Why???

Why do thgs have to change?why cant anythg stay the same...juz for a little while?why does God blow tis reckless,raging wind through my life and scatter evythg n evy1 around?=.="

Hate takes alot of Love

I kneel on the floor,
Tears falling from my eyes.
I have learnt to hate you,
Along with all your lies.

Then why do I still love you?
Why am i still here?
When you have broken me,
and still not shed a tear.

People say it’s plain to see,
People say its clear.
That if i just run away,
You would just disapear.

But nothing was ever simple,
There’s nothing clear to see.
I could never run away,
From what was once so dear to me.

I love you but i hate you,
Without you i’d be dead.
But you’ll be the death of me,
With all the things you’ve said.

I know this won’t make any sense,
You might misunderstand.
Please just never leave me,
I hope you’ll understand.

创作:想让你知道

创作:想让你知道

Verse 1:
夏天的午后，
我静静沉思，
为什么，
我依然执迷不悟。
对你还存有多少个想法，
多少个午后都得不到答案。

Verse 2:
是我在等待些什么，
而你从不曾给过我。
虚伪的爱情，
突击我的情感。
你烙印给我的伤痕，
现在依然痛着。

Verse 3:
爱的记忆卡，
折不断，理还乱。
不能逃避想你的事实，
恨不是谁能控制，
在乎你所以恨。

Verse 4:
读不懂我自己，
无奈这样的我。
该放手的却紧抓着，
现实在考验着我，
让我知道，
爱一个人的代价是如此大的。

Verse 5:
怀旧的过去，
真的回不来。
时间像流水般的汹涌，
分秒必针一刻不停留，
而我却停留在那一时刻。

Chorus:
我想让你知道，
我依然想你。
告诉我怎么办，
我不想继续。
你知道吗？
那过去的感觉。
好想结束那想念，
我就是办不到。
by Pauline cECILIA

创作:不曾爱

创作:不曾爱

Verse 1:
你是谁，
我是谁，
你我都不是谁的谁。
爱你已不存在，
爱我已不存在。

Verse 2:
曾几何时，
你爱过这样的我。
爱的方程式，
复杂乱了公式。

Verse 3:
我明了爱的意义，
你是不曾去明了。
爱的世界你是你，
痛的世界我是我。
不曾改变的大男人。

Verse 4:
幻想在你身边，
想着我们的未来。
美好时光已不再。

Verse 5:
如今，
你我已成陌生。
恨与爱一个样，
两者我放弃，
世界只属于我。

Chorus：
不曾爱，不曾爱，
不曾感受过你的爱。
是谎言，是玩弄，
是场灌醉我的游戏，
是清醒的时候了。
by Pauline cECILIA

失眠=.=

凌晨2:32分,我还是睡不着...在床上翻来覆去,思绪又开始乱了.脑袋里装的全都是他的倩影.为什么?!是我中了他的毒了吗?对他还依旧眷恋不已=.=我还是很想很想他...无论什么点都让我想起他...你们一定会问为什么?!他到底哪里特别,哪里吸引了你????????!!!!!!!!!没有答案...没有理由...喜欢上了,爱上了,就是了...这就是爱.

不用几个小时,就要开课了.新的学期会有新的改变吗?心里还是很乱...烦死了...=.=现在,我又处在胃痛的状态...无奈=.=惠都已见周公去了,我想睡都不能.....................啊!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!乱!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
恨透了自己!!!!现在,没有人可以帮我忘却过去,只能靠我自己.问题是,我自己也开始对我自己模糊了起来.=.=

每当看到他on msn,我就会心跳加速...心就开始乱了起来...这种感觉不曾消失过...这到底证明了什么?!!!何时才可以让这种感觉消失???!!!他一有事请委托我帮忙,我二话没说就帮他解决了...身边友人说:"如果是我,早就懒得理他这种男人了...何苦?!!!"在我内心深处,我还是有他的存在=.=也许...我依然眷恋着他吧...=.=身边的人一一劝我把所有他的contact number,msn,fs...delete完!!!这样比较容易把他忘得一干二净!!!可我试了好几次,最后还是失败了.=.=就算我删除了他的手机号码,那十个数字,我依然牢牢记着...它已烙印在我脑海...=.=这就是笨女孩故的作为!!!=.=

我想平静的生活!!!不要因为他人而影响我的生活...现在,我要睡觉啊!!!可是却精神十足啊!!!眼睛一盖...他的有脸又出现在眼前...=.=

你,让我为你失了眠...............................=.=