First piece of fallen leaves

This few days, my mind has been constantly emerging out of the memories you and me...Your face clearly surfaced in my mind although we have separated more than two years +...You are my first piece of fallen leaves...Why did it all have become in the past?Second fallen leaves let me grow up much...If there is no second leaves, perhaps i still don't know how much you once loved me.One year and 8 months 21 days-the days we together, i did not deliberately to remember this numeral, but it has never erase from my mind.In the same year, same month and on the same day we were born, perhaps because of this, so we somewhat similar character.Really miss the days we together...Do you can turn back the time???If i can, i will cling to you, won't let u go from my side...I hate myself that why i so fast tired, if i never give up, perhaps the result will be slightly different.Recently, i took out all of our photos from my drawer...I never take them out long time ago...recently, u keep appeared in my mind, make me so miss the moment we were together...so i took them out. In the picture, you arm around me...Sweet memories...

Through the photo, i know that how much you once loved me.
How tight u hug me, how much u love me.
Ah hui,
thanks for everything.

Do you still have migraine headaches?Previously, each week u have at least a few days having the migrain...Even take medicine also not cure it...coz migrain is a non-cure of the disease.
Last week, i am being hurt in love, i felt sad, i cried...at the same time, i uncontrollable took up my handphone and sent u a message...
I can't tell you that i was upset because of being hurt again in love...I am not qualified to tell u all these...Everytime ur reply even cold and flat since we broke up... dunno why???But its ok, coz i am willing to accept ur indifference to me...Now u have ur own life, u got another ''her'' beside u, i can't always disturb u anymore, coz i know the gal's feeling...Now i just can wishing u both happiness and love each other forever.If u dun mind, we can have a meet and have a drink at the end of year.And remember bring along ur gal gal=)

我曾经很幸福过，
但都已过去了。
我曾经被伤害过，
但也该释怀了。
如果我不能坦然地面对它，
真正地放下与释怀，
那么我这辈子永远不可能重新开始，
更爱不了任何人。

现在，
你，我，他，
我们都必须过着各自的生活，
而不是去强求那不可能的关系。
这样真的很累。
生命中的两片落叶，
让我成长了不少。
我很感谢第二片落叶，
是它让我领悟到许多东西。
没有它的到来，
也许我永远都不知道第一片落叶在我生命中付出了什么，
也让我知道了它有多爱我。

领悟

当你在一段感情里所付出的只是换来悲伤，
一场爱情得来的只是心碎，
一个关心然而换来的只是沉默，
那你就得三思是否该继续走下去？
每段爱情都需要勇气。。。
每个悲伤都需要忘记。。。
因为爱情总是给彼此不断的喜怒哀乐。。。
如果付出的爱情换来的只是悲伤，
那我们为何还坚持抓着呢？
请你放手。
如果一段爱情换来的只是心碎，
那我们为何去承受这苦呢？
请你放下。
如果关心换来的只是沉默，
那我们为何不选择放手呢？
请先说分手。
每个人的心存着的不应该是寂寞而是快乐。
每段爱情都需要勇气来挑战。
一个人不能活在死亡的爱情，
是你的就是你的，别人抢也抢不走，
命中注定不是你的就不是你的，
强求也得不到幸福。
现在，
我终于领悟到了。=）

别喜欢上我。。。

我们可以是一辈子的朋友。别对我存有一丝的希望。=)

My single life...

Well...time passed really fast...Years do not keep people-“岁月不留人”. Now tat i know wat is so called release. No concerned about the lives of others...just look forward. And i choose not to hate others. As God's children, we should not hate others, even they really hurt u deeply. I'm happy and satisfied of my life now. And i m in processing to change my character and appearance. Previous me is a kind silent, shy and yet melancholy gal. Now, me gonna change to an active gal...no more shy and timid! Say NO to THEM!!! Btw, thanks Intima - Student Government Body in Inti College, i m the secretary of INTIMA, lot of jobs need me to go through, tats good to me...make myself busy...but hope tat wont effect my result la...the result of last semesters quite good...i tot i will get fail in both subject-computer and Japanese. Who knows, so luckily, i get 3As, 1B and 2C. If i do more afford, maybe can get better than tat.haiz...its okla...its ord passed...look forward for tis semester! But i dun have confident for tis semester, my busy life start onward... This semesters, is a rushing semesters...
I decide to go back to hometown tis coming hari raya...pls pls pls...pls let me free on tat time...dun give me any jobs...i miss my parents muchhhhhhhhhhhh!!!arghhhhhhhh!!! But i know tat might be got orientation night on tat time for China students...wat to do? We are the committee of INTIMA, we are the one who responsible to incharge the events...ishhhhhhhhhhhhh....
Again...stressfulness...next week is our test 1 for tis semesters!!! Gosh...i havent touch yet!!!help me la!!! Actually plan to start my revision tonight, but not the time!!!coz tomorrow i m the one who incharge the exhibition of Soka Gakkai(Gandhi, King and Ikeda), i m the exhibition guide la...got 7 panel hv to go through...and even 1 panel i havent go through yet. So, tonight, i hv to study all 7 panel...pray to god, wish that tomorrow not more ppl come to visit...XD
Today, me and hui absent the Hilton class coz of involved the opening ceremony of Soka Gakkai. Elisa told me tat they learned a lot for today's lesson...ishhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....hate la...i cant join the lesson...they cooked chicken chop la...and yet learned the decoration of dishes... Tomorrow is to cook beef chop...hope the test on next week is ''how to cook beef chop'',not chicken chop!!!
Just finished workout...flew lot of sweat...feeling freshhhhhhhhhhh...=)
Go Go Pauline!!!=)

i know...

Well...I have done everything for you, i believe tat you yet know. How much i love u, i believe tat u also can feel it. U are the only guy tat i pay so much love and thoughts...i dun like to compare..bt if really want to compare both of u(U and my 1st bf), u r more happiness than him...i did lot to u... Everytime when i see something tat i like and feel wanna to buy it, i will think of u 1st, coz i want to save money to buy some present for u...then i will stop my desire to buy it...i m willing to sacrifice it...i m willing to do it without any complaints...coz i love u... Did u know, i love u more than i love me myself...i just realized tat i never sayang me.
The present i gave u-red notebook and t-shirt, u just use them, dun waste them. We're til friends.

生命中的两个男人

背叛的感觉，有谁承受得了？我无法承受！痛恨的爱情背叛，那种心灵上的背叛更无法承受。到头来，我才领悟到是自己太信任于他了。一个我这么爱的男人，这么努力地为他不断付出我的爱，每样好的东西都留给他，得来的回报却是“背叛”。他对她的执着就像我对他的执着。一旦爱了，就是了。所以无论我付出再多，努力再多，结果还是一样，因为他的心已被她偷走了。也许这就是他所执着的吧，明知是个错误的选择却还要执着于那第三个位置。但是，这对我公平吗？！他应该要在和我一起之前先弄清自己的心向，而不是敷衍我，为了做好人而答应跟我在一起。所以我现在终于领悟到阿惠对我说的话-对男人千万不要放一百分的信任，那只会让自己更受伤。
在我生命中的两个男人，原来真正很爱我的只有一个。而我却对他们有不同的待遇，也许那时的我们都太年轻吧，如果我坚持住，现在的我们，会不会也像一般情侣一样恩爱呢？
丝路-梁静茹的歌，这首歌，每每一听就让我想起你。当时我对你说我喜欢这首歌，每天狂听这首歌。要你一定也要买来听，你二话不说就买来听。可是你的反应让我哭笑不得。你说：“什么歌来的？听不懂啦！这样叫好听啊？”哈哈。。。可爱的反应让我不禁笑了起来。
你的贴心与关照是现在男人都做不到的了。阿惠说你是绝种的好男人，也肯定你是个好男朋友。曾经让我更哭笑不得及感动的是你在厕所里给我打电话。因为在店铺里帮忙爸爸工作，无法好好给我信息，所以每次就会利用上厕所的时间给我打电话。想起来仿佛回到当下。
在课业上，你从不让我操心，反而我该警惕自己的课业。数学与会计是你的强项，还记得我们常常拿来比较，赢的人当然是你啦！数字王！哈哈！你的点点滴滴我不曾忘记过。经过这次的教训，让我更知道你对我的好与爱，只怪当时的我们都太年少无知。
现在，人在sibu的你还好吗？听说你在Sushi Tie做partime，Form6 的生活还可以吗？应付得来吗？希望这次11月分回去有机会与你见个面。

Pauline,What happen to ur hair?

My new hair style la...u guys just need to drop a comment whether nice, pretty, cute, lovely, gorgeous etc....haha...give me some compliment ma...
Ugo, a funny guy with a strong muscle body,he was shocked when he realized that i'm sitting there....with a short hair cut, he indeed can't recognize who I am...wahaha...XD...but okla...he said tat me look different and nice look...thanks ya....^^
Spiff, Ex president of INTIMA, he was not shocked of my new hairstyle but drop a nice word to me...haha...thanks Spifffffff....
Wan, naughty guy, keep asking me why cut my hair...haiyo...change new life and new style ma...owes keep it long...so sien....ur hair longer than me la, when is ur turn to cut it and change ur new hairstyle? previous u with short hairstyle really look handsome leh, why keep it long la...haiyo...go cut liao...be a MAN guy...wahaha...XD
Kah Jong, naughty guy too, but tis time not bad, satisfied of his compliment...haha....he said me look nice than b4...no more ''kiu mo'' means curly hair ...haha...add on cute somemore...wahaha....*sweetsss*...^^
Tan Poh Swee, the one who is the famous in INTIMA, maybe cos of his appearance, kindly, and a kind of very clever and diligent guy...owes take Academic Award...owes straight As...so clever la... He said my new hairstyle make me look similar as my junior - Summer Vourtney, i do not deserve it la...she's look pretty and lovely...me just simple look...^^
Harvin, keep asking me why cut my hair...haha...actually the conclusion is, i m going to change my new hairstyle, the one who feel sayang is all of my friends...hahaha...friends, dun feel sayang, my hair will grow up soon...
Jason, my hao jie mei, haha...everytime met me, keep looked at me, anything stick on my face?haha...make me dunno how to action...and shy somemore la...he said me grow up liao...hehe...^^...coz of my body heat, my eyes looked water water and red red, he said me cry in the toilet coz of missing Alan...so funny la u...owes bully me neh...no la...me not missing him... And i keep coughing, totally cant concentrate in the class la...jason so bad, said my virus will stick on his shirt...wont la...haha...XD
Alian, u ah...owe me Rm20, havent return to me o...and said me look scary somemore? how dare u ar?haha...anyway, take more care over there la...hope u can get use the environment there as soon as possible...dun too miss us ya...XD
Ben, u ah...more and more fat...dun keep eat eat eat la...previous u is a slim and hdsm guy leh...now why bcm fat liao...go deduct ur excess fat and dun eat too much liao...stop liao... Btw, thanks for ur compliment said me look slim after cut my hair...hehe....happy leh...*sweetsss*
Bryan, u ah, said me cut my hair is coz of ''Shi lian'' in the class, and louder somemore...later lecture heard it, i hit u o... And dun play and touch my hair la...later bcm flat la...haiz...=.=
Emmanuel, knew him from Joseph Ugo, haha...funny guy too...keep said ''Peace'' to me...haha...anyway, me look nice than b4 right? previous Pauline gone...previous Pauline is shy and silent, as Joseph Ugo said tat me dare to talk than b4, ya...correct...i seldom open my mouth to talk in the previous time...haha... Now? me is a talkative gal...hahaha...but will control la...will seriously when need be serious....not like u guys, owes out of control...haiz...
Elisa, my little lovely friend, the one who was so so so shocked with my new short hairstyle...she cant accept my new short hairstyle...owes:Paulineeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!! what happen to ur hair?haha...so funny...nothing la Elisa...i'm fine now...change my new hairstyle...look young and more cheerful right? haha...finally, u can accept it...^^

Friends, friends, friendsssssssssssssssss.....thanks for all the compliment and caring ya...i m fine now...and call me lovely Pauline start from tis moment...hehe....Love u guysssssss....muacksssss....XD

New LIFE, New Pauline

Today, i went to ''The Spring'' with Hui, Jiang Ting and Ting Ming. The main purpose of went there is to change my IMAGE. Dump the previous PAULINE!!! COME the NEW PAULINE!!!
We depart from INTI College by INTI bus. Gosh...what a HOT afternoon and the number of students are out of my expectation... The bus was full of students... Damned hot...we keep sweating...i think no body hotter than me coz i wear jacket that really thick...Well...in the bus, i also won't forget the shooting of the moment in the bus...and my last long hair shooting...Unfortunately, the china gal tat sit in front of me scolded me keep shooting...i dun care.

Me with my last long hair...

Hui and Jiang Ting...

Finally, i cant stand for the hot til i take off my lovely thick jacket...wao...

Finally arrived at the destination of ''The Spring''... We went to lunch at food court...we choosed foo chow cuisine for our lunch... Hui and Morgan ordered Eng Chow rice and Tomato chicken rice. Whereas me, Jiang Ting and Ting Ming ordered Zhao Chai Hun Gang. After finished our lunch, we way to saloon that named ICE & RICHARD to have my hair cut...

My hair...throw away the SADNESS...
throw away the STRESSFULNESS...
forget about all the past...

Start my new LIFE...

cut...cut...cut...

Done!!!
Previous Pauline gone!!!
NEW Pauline COME!!!
hahahaha...
And the tauke niung said me look cute after cut my hair...

Don't know why...although cut of my long hair, i didn't feel any regret.

Next station is to buy a new spectacles for me myself...

Here is my new spectacles...pretty cool and nice... Karen Mok is the spectacles prolocutor. The originally price is RM580.
Luckily today got promotion...
i bought this spectacles for RM315.
I like it so muchhh...

Receipt of my new spectacles...

Glasses degree...
right eye til maintain 200 degrees...
left eye decrease from 175 til 125 degrees...and add on flash that is 75 degrees...

After this... shopping....................................................................................................................................

Wow...lot of stuff...gals always is Shopaholic...XD

Me and Jiang Ting... Exhausted after whole day shopping...

love u mummy...XD

muacksss...btw, wat my daughter doing at behind???==''

BEST FRIENDS 4EV3R... Pauline, Sally, Jason, Abby and Jiang Ting. STAR!!!

We were waiting for the Inti bus to come to pick us back to Inti College... Finally, bus came at 6:30pm...
Arrivedddddddddddddddd.............................
Walked back to hostel with hui them...

At hostel... keep shooting...

Lastly, I hope I can really forget the past and live out the future... Don't live for others, to live for your own. Pauline, Gambateh!!!

Mummy said...

Last few days, mummy called me. She asked me about the silver and gold key-shaped necklace. She asked me about the significance and difference of them. Honestly, i'm also not so sure...so, automatically my head turned to hui and asked her if she knew. Hui said that if a silver necklace is to give full of 18-year-old children, whereas the gold necklace is give full of 21-year-old children. Nowadays parents only give when their children 21-year- old. This is to show that their children already grow up and they give them FREEDOM to do their own things.
Between, mummy said that she plan to present me one gold key-shaped necklace when i reach 21-year-old. Yeah!!! i m waiting for the day to come...Thanks mummy=)...LOVE U so muchhhhhhh...muacksss...
And this few days, i was sick...FEVER, SORE THROAT, COUGHING, FLU...but now only left coughing and flu...hope can recover soon...Mummy keep forching me go to look for a doctor...but i always give her a lot of reason to avoid it...coz i not take it seriously...i m fine mummy...dun worry...i will get well soon...

Thanks u guys...

Sally: 别人都说一个男人如果愿意为一个女人放下面子与自尊，代表他很爱他。你没做不好，是他不懂得珍惜。
Jason: 他人好，但家人与朋友领先，做情侣辛苦点。
Jiang Ting: 女人的尊严到哪去了？醒醒吧茹婷！

Ting Ming:求你别再想他了！
Elisa: haiya...u ah...dun cry liao...u must face it bravely...god will arrange for u...

Molly: Forget that guy! Never look at the past, make it as EXPERIENCE! Life must go on!
Spiff: The 2nd chance never same as the 1st time. And never never begging to ur EX. Because he/she just pity on u. Not LOVE.
Kah Jong: 你啊。。。只会哭哭哭。。。
Amelia: Try ur best to let him go...
Audrey: Stop attachment of him...

Thanks for caring me...i love u guys...but its nt easy for me as i already love him so much. Sally, my best friend, thanks for always stay beside me when i m crying. Jason, my hao jie mei, thanks for helping us to pass stuff to each other although me and him already over. Jiang Ting, my kindly china's friend, thanks for always with me when i'm alone. Ting Ming, my miri's friend, thanks for always become my listener that may be bring u bored. Elisa, my lovely indonesia's friend, thanks much for comforting me when i m having trouble. Molly, my indonesia's friend too, thanks for always comfort me when my teardrop and u are the one who is the most suffer than me as ur EX even already engaged. Spiff, our ex president of INTIMA, U are the one who always give us lot of advices, EXCELLENT leader! Kah Jong, u are the funny and handsm one...thanks for making me smile when i m not really on mood. Amelia, try ur best to let him go too, dun be silly in love...as u said:"Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a teardrop." Its REALITY! We must face it bravely...ya...now i m lacking of confidence and brave...'' If u love something, let it go. If it comes back to u, its urs forever. If it doesn't, then it was doesn't meant to be.'' Is this the way should be?
Audrey, thanks too...hope can totally put down as u put down ur EX.

没收

两个人在一起，
为的是什么？
是一份永恒的爱。
然而，

事实却让我绝望。
我选择了这条路，
是条坎坷的路，
考验不断。
我也不想日日夜夜流着泪，
但始终，
眼泪只为你倾流。
是，
必须把你给忘，
停止想念你，
是我现在必须做到的事。
但，
忘记一个依然爱的人不是件容易的事，
很痛，
很痛，
真的很痛！
为何我紧握着不放？
因为我已陷太深，
我爱你。
现在，
我只能学着没收对你的爱。

你的祝福

你的祝福让我心碎。。。
不想多说什么。。。
静静地。。。
流着泪。。。
这就是结果。。。

提得起，放不下。

我曾跟你说过，
永远只爱你一个。
对你说过的每句话，
成了我们回忆的伤口。

这条路才走不久，
却已停止前进。
我是软弱的，
需要你的肩膀。

我的脸上张扬过哀伤，
是寂寞的倔强。
为何不选择拉住我，
而却让我独自去流浪。

我没有想过我们会再次分开，
我选择让时间说真话。
内心的我是害怕的，
天黑了以后，
我们都不知道会不会有以后。

男孩，
为什么？
也许你也不懂，
当我放手那一刻，
心理渴望你挽留我，
不让我走。

是我的爱过多，
而淹没了你对我的爱吗？
我承认我懦弱，
提得起，
却放不下。

忍不住。。。

每天早上一起床，
是最难受的时刻。。。
没有你的日子，
电话也无用处。。。
常常，
很自然地，
你的脸出现在我脑海里，
叫我怎么去忘记你？
忍不住，
忍不住想知道你的近况，
忍不住想知道你是否想我。
我。。。
真的好想你。。。
怎么办？？？
我该怎么办？？？
=(

心理测验。。。真的如此吗？

星座配對 99%準 測驗，結果是 魔羯座是你的絕配 12/23-01/20

您們唯一比較相近之處，是都有著好勝好強的企圖心。不過羊兒是非常明顯的欠缺持久性，而摩羯則正好相反。因此，明爭暗鬥的結果，通常是由摩羯獲勝。 不擅矯飾的羊兒，剛開始很難接受摩羯安靜深沈的性格，但羊兒天生缺乏安定而穩固的忍耐力，正是摩羯能夠提供的；而摩羯想在太實際、太堅忍的現實環境中調合一下，羊兒的個性正適合。所以分數雖低，也未必完全無望。