Wanna Cry...(FATS)

Don't know how to descibe my feeling now...
Frustrated...
Speechless...
Am still missing something...
I know I shouldn't...
But who can control the feeling that come naturally...
NOBODY!
Honestly, I can't totally show and vent out all my feeling here...
Am feeling so sad...
I wanna cry...
I need a shoulder to lean on right now...
JESUS, I know u're beside me right now...
Please take me out from the sadness...

Am gained so much fat since I didn't control my meals and kept on eating...
That's the result=FATS!!!
I HATE it u know!!!
I HATE FATS!!!
My tummy was coming out to see me...
My whole body was KEMBANG!!!
So upset u know!!!
I need solution to deduct my excess fats!!!
Start from March,
I will totally follow my Slimming Schedule that has been created by my own!!!
Hope it will be succeed for this time!!!

FATS!!!

Happy Chinese New Year (Short Update)

Happy Chinese New Year to all the Bloggers!!!
Sorry for the late update...
Am supposed to update it everyday...
But I did not...
Ouch...
because of my laziness...
Gonna leaving here*Kuching* to Bintangor for the Chinese New Year on tomorrow...
Can't wait to see my papa and mama since the school resume 2010 almost one month+...
LoLz...
This year Eve Dinner will be celebrated at my Eldest brother house since he yet move to the new house last year December. :D
The dinner will be different though~^^
hmm...
kinda tired tonight,
so...
just have a short update...
Have to stop now...
and off to bed before 12am...
Goodnight Boys and Gals...
muackssssssss...
:)

*Gong Xi Fa Chai*
(Short Update)

Do you???Am I???

Do you see me?
Do you still looking for me?
LOLz...XD
Undeniably, sometimes am still will looking for you...
No reason...
It came naturally...
1st Jan 2010, you've been sent me a greeting message ''Happy new year^^'' with 0168825067. Originally, am comfused who sent me the greeting message...therefore I replied back''Happy new year to u too, btw, may I know who are you?'' to u. After I sent, I froze a few seconds...Ochhh...Its U! No wonder that 10 digits was so familiar to me.
Because I've been deleted ur both contact numbers since we're broke up in order to let me to forget you as soon as possible, but can't be deny the fact, the numeral already engraved in my mind since the day we've been together. I've tried hardly to erased both of ur contact numbers from my mind, and I did not deliberately to remember these numeral but what I get is???
I still can remember your both contact numbers.
I want to know whether ur life is doing fine over there?
But I choose to hide... I've to control myself!
I don't even want to send you any message since I yet promised that I will never find you again, coz I don't want to get hurt once again.
Sometimes am still will missing the past...
And yet miss the moment we've been together.
In the past memories, you gave me enough ups and downs...
From LOVE to HATE and to the END...
Thats the sad ENDING!
We're have no future even we yet tried 4 times...
Arghhhh!!!!
Pauline cECILIA is getting crazy now...
LOLz...
She's still write such silly things in her blogger???
Lord God, please blessed me DON'T!!!
Have to stop now...
Goodnight boys and gals.
Have a good good nights.
Muackzzz...♥

Time Flies...

Oochh...
It's already Semester 5 since the 1st day I entered to this College.
I still remember,
it was a Saturday morning, it's rainy day, my cousin brought me to Inti College for the first Semester enrollment. *Excitement*, after all, coz this was my 1st time living life without parents. After enrollment, we went to buy some daily necessities for my ''Hostel Life''. *Lot of things*
The 1st day of my 1st Semester, I walked alone in this school, and constantly looking for my classroom in such a big College (actually it's not such BIG^^)without any familiar faces, my heart was beating fast, unfamiliar faces all around the school. x(
I'm trying to ask ppl around the school see whether they know where my classroom located. And my mind constantly pray to God to blessed me can met the person who take the same course and same subject with me right now...
Finally, one of my senior brought me to the classroom...*perhaps he is an angel sent by God?heee^^*
Time flies~~~
It's has been a year and 3 months I further my studies in this College and still continueing now...
So that extent,
I still left more than a year here to further my studies.
Although it's not a very perfect, good, nice and excellent College, but it's not bad as well. And I really appreciated what I had get from this College. Expecially *Friendship*. I've met lot of friends here, both local and foreign friends. I really treasure a *friendship* with them.♥hugs♥
Imagine the day of our graduation day for diploma, am sure that I will cry badly on that day! Coz I really love u guys so much...After graduation, it's hardly for us to be gathered as usual we hv now...
Therefore, we must cherish the moment we have now.

Last wish in 2009

Last wish in 2009, I pray to the Lord God to give me an independence of mind. Lord God, please give me STRENGTH! I need U so much! I hope that at this moment you touch my head and then tell me: ''my child, believe in yourself and you are OK, I look at you all the single time. You will always be my good gal=)))''♥
Last night I cried all night, causing my both eyes swollen this morning.
Why am I crying?
Because I feel Inferior!
I feel very Impotent!
Habitual reliance on friends, often don't make decisions for myself!
I HATE this kind of ME!!!
I WANT To CHANGE!!!
Change to the NEW Pauline cECILIA!!!
2010 is the new beginning for me!!!
NEW YEAR,
NEW LIFE,
NEW TARGET,
NEW BEGINNING,
NEW CHANGES...as well!!!

I went:'' Lord God, my heart is beating with U,
my soul is living in U,
my whole life is in U!''
I LOVE U!!!♥

Am the Child of God=)))

If it is FATE...

If it is fate, we surely will meet again.If it is true fate, everyone encounters each other are all in timing.

If fate really exists between us, we will naturally meet each other by the right time. I think so...How about u? Do u believe in fate?
I don't want to disrupt ur life...I don't want to be a silly gal...
I should be a mature gal as I have been reminding myself don't give so much room for my imagination!!!
Oh God, until when I just can put aside my past? Today, I've completely lost my spirit to do everything...Can't pay so much concentrate on the drama even it's my favourite korean drama...*sobbing*==''
God went:'' All this just can only rely on your own. If you've never want to let go, then you'll never fit in the past.
Now just can only rely on your own, believe yourself can be able to do it, then it already half of the battle.''
I went:'' I've tried to forget all the past...I DID...but I FAILED...When ''HE'' appear in front of me, all the efforts will suddenly collapsed. Therefore, I have to start from scratch. Honestly, I really tired...I really exhausted all about it!!! Please ask whether he has had such a feeling???

Pauline, Live out your LIFE

Dedicated to YOU...but it must be STOPPED!!!

There is also a period of time I am not going to update my blog...
Recently, I still think of you...
Last few days, I went to Sibu with bunch of friends...
We talked and laughed...
Indeed, my body still with them, but my heart was gone with the wind very far, and thought about whether I will meet you somewhere in Sibu?
LOLX...
Again and again!!!
Cannot deny the fact that I still will miss you...
Sigh...==''
Where are you now?
How are you doing so far?
Has been a long time did not get your news since we were broke up.
Deleted and blocked out all the way to contact you is to ensure that I can forget you as soon as possible...That 10 digit is still engraved in my mind although it has been deleted from my contact list , it kept lingering...But I will never contact you anymore...Because everything is OVER...Is no longer possible to return back to before...
Why am I still tired and still dedicated to you???!!!

Dedicated to YOU